Four score and some odd years ago, I probably had a dream. I’m thinking it had to do with being some sort of communications professional. Maybe that was when I wanted to be a veterinarian. There was a phase where nurse or teacher sounded good. I ended up with a degree in communications and an incredible urge to hide or, at least, start all over again and find something I enjoyed doing.
Enter motherhood. Enter the sudden urge to stay home, care for my child, cook, clean, do laundry, exercise and take care of myself. So I did that. I do that. Each and every day I cook (or heat something to feed the people who live here), clean and do laundry (I have a system so I rarely get behind). But, lately, I can’t seem to find or make time to exercise or take care of myself. Since just before Christmas I’ve been burnt out on exercise. I can’t find the motivation. I’m punishing myself in some way - I’m guilt-stricken because I won’t allow myself this daily energizer and stress relief. I can’t quite put my finger on why. Exercise is the world's best anti-depressant.
I needed a push. And, this is not because I want to achieve a smaller number on the scale. I need exercise to clear my mind and prepare for the day ahead. I need to do something, however small, for myself each day. This is what I need. I thrive best this way. So, I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of the winter blahs. Honestly, it’s way too early in the year for that. I’m disgusted with how I feel having not really broken much of a sweat the past month or so. I have a plan-because I always have a plan. Perhaps my plans don’t always work but I do try.
Enter Jessie’s Boot Camp. I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m taking drastic measures. I suppose I was bored with my current regime (or lack thereof). So, I went to Target. I purchased some new workout clothes. I bought my first kettlebell and a new Yoga mat. I am also the owner of some new DVDs by Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper; they are two of my most favorite fitness people. Target is where every person should go when in a fitness rut. Great prices and awesome selection. Target did not even pay me to say that. They should! Anyway, I am excited. I’m dedicating one hour a day to the treadmill, weights, a video or whatever it is I feel like doing. No pressure, just some sort of activity. I must stop this nonsense so I can return to feeling like a normal person. I recognize normal is very subjective especially since I am referring to my crazy self.
Part of the problem is my child is rising very early. She gets up at 6:30 these days! WTF? What do I do with her all day? How can I entertain her? Anyway, I’m not rising at 5 am. I cannot do this. I will be puffy by 10 am! I need my beauty sleep. I’m also not great at nighttime workouts since that is my time with Bread and, usually, the telly after he goes to bed. So, I’ve decided it is okay to exercise with her. She can either sit and watch or participate. I could be teaching her far worse habits. Ha! Could and do! So, this is my plan. I am committed. Such excitement. I can’t wait to be so sore I cannot walk! Today is day five and I'm stiff! I love this feeling! I missed it! It’s been so long! I’m a sick individual! And, there’s nothing better than watching my cute tot do squats in her Disney princess underwear! Those are her “workout” clothes. She did NOT learn this from me, I swear. I encourage her to wear clothes at all costs! She refuses! I never wear only my princess underwear when I exercise...
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Day Two
One thing that helps me rise and shine at the butt crack of dawn is the promise of a good television program to watch while I torture myself for an hour or so. Summertime programming is over. There is nothing good in my DVR. This is my excuse for deciding to sleep in this morning on the second day of Operation War on Yoga Pants. Well, that and the fact that I was in the midst of the best night’s sleep I’d had in about two weeks; I wanted that extra hour. A sick tot and a crappy mattress make for a crabby-ass Jessie Domestic.
I’ve instructed Bread not to leave the bedroom in the morning sans me. I could see the frightened look in his eyes when he realized I was not jumping out of bed as quickly as I did yesterday; he knew he had a potential disaster if he pressed me. He was recoiling in fearing of me shouting things at him along the lines of, “Why are you making me get up? You think I’m fat don’t you!” I’m not the happiest person in the morning, especially when it’s been nearly two weeks since my last decent night of rest and, if, somebody else is waking me up. I am impressed because I had the sense to tell him that I have a backup plan and, since today was a cardio only day, I could walk the dog and exercise at the same time. I saw the relief register on his face; he knows how I can be when I feel as though I’ve failed.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel like I’ve failed. I was up early yesterday, and according to my heart rate monitor, had burned over 800 calories by 7:30 am yesterday. I slept in today. I feel rested, although the ugly bags under my eyes tell another story. I am going walk with my posse (two dogs and a tot in the jogger) in a bit. Believe me, I needed that sleep. Tomorrow I plan to resume my 6 AM workout because I need to also lift weights and it’s just too hard to do all that during waking hours. Thursday will be an easy day of just Yoga. See? I’ve got this and I feel better all ready.
It’s amazing what a little bit of exercise can do for a person. I love to sweat. I love feeling like I’ve just accomplished something, like I’ve just done something really great for myself. It’s almost better than shopping. Almost! I said not quite! I have more energy during the day when I exercise and I tend to eat less. I sleep better. I could go on and on about the benefits of exercise but you probably know so I’ll spare you.
Bread always tells me that I’m so hard on myself. I’ve always thought he was wrong but I’m starting to see that, perhaps, he’s right. The old Jessie would see today as a failure. Instead, I’m going easy on myself. I knew Bird and I were staying at home this morning and that I could have both an extra hour of sleep and a workout outdoors (which is a thousand times better than in my living room). I didn’t fail; I did rearrange. It’s okay. I do want regular clothes and makeup, but, since I’m not really going anywhere today, and, luckily, my toddler doesn’t mind looking at me without my face on I’ll cope.
I am a very structured person. I function best when I have a plan for each day. A schedule, if you will. Being a SAHM, makes it hard as my number one priority is obviously my tot. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. I know this. But, there are things I can do to plan. It’s all a work in progress. I’m not making excuses, I’m only being flexible. I got some extra sleep and I’m about get my exercise and some quality playtime with my kid. Those are three things that many working moms would love to have. So, instead of beating myself up for what I did “wrong,” I’m realizing I’m human, being happy about what I have and moving on. Wow. How novel. And, tomorrow morning, I’ll hop right out of bed because tonight is Teen Mom, Parenthood and Life Unexpected! Glorious.
I’ve instructed Bread not to leave the bedroom in the morning sans me. I could see the frightened look in his eyes when he realized I was not jumping out of bed as quickly as I did yesterday; he knew he had a potential disaster if he pressed me. He was recoiling in fearing of me shouting things at him along the lines of, “Why are you making me get up? You think I’m fat don’t you!” I’m not the happiest person in the morning, especially when it’s been nearly two weeks since my last decent night of rest and, if, somebody else is waking me up. I am impressed because I had the sense to tell him that I have a backup plan and, since today was a cardio only day, I could walk the dog and exercise at the same time. I saw the relief register on his face; he knows how I can be when I feel as though I’ve failed.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel like I’ve failed. I was up early yesterday, and according to my heart rate monitor, had burned over 800 calories by 7:30 am yesterday. I slept in today. I feel rested, although the ugly bags under my eyes tell another story. I am going walk with my posse (two dogs and a tot in the jogger) in a bit. Believe me, I needed that sleep. Tomorrow I plan to resume my 6 AM workout because I need to also lift weights and it’s just too hard to do all that during waking hours. Thursday will be an easy day of just Yoga. See? I’ve got this and I feel better all ready.
It’s amazing what a little bit of exercise can do for a person. I love to sweat. I love feeling like I’ve just accomplished something, like I’ve just done something really great for myself. It’s almost better than shopping. Almost! I said not quite! I have more energy during the day when I exercise and I tend to eat less. I sleep better. I could go on and on about the benefits of exercise but you probably know so I’ll spare you.
Bread always tells me that I’m so hard on myself. I’ve always thought he was wrong but I’m starting to see that, perhaps, he’s right. The old Jessie would see today as a failure. Instead, I’m going easy on myself. I knew Bird and I were staying at home this morning and that I could have both an extra hour of sleep and a workout outdoors (which is a thousand times better than in my living room). I didn’t fail; I did rearrange. It’s okay. I do want regular clothes and makeup, but, since I’m not really going anywhere today, and, luckily, my toddler doesn’t mind looking at me without my face on I’ll cope.
I am a very structured person. I function best when I have a plan for each day. A schedule, if you will. Being a SAHM, makes it hard as my number one priority is obviously my tot. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. I know this. But, there are things I can do to plan. It’s all a work in progress. I’m not making excuses, I’m only being flexible. I got some extra sleep and I’m about get my exercise and some quality playtime with my kid. Those are three things that many working moms would love to have. So, instead of beating myself up for what I did “wrong,” I’m realizing I’m human, being happy about what I have and moving on. Wow. How novel. And, tomorrow morning, I’ll hop right out of bed because tonight is Teen Mom, Parenthood and Life Unexpected! Glorious.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Operation War on Yoga Pants
This begins the countdown to my independence. I am officially liberating myself from the yoga pant. I believe my happiness is directly related to my wardrobe. And, as of late, I’m having a bit of an identity crisis due to the fact that I spend an abnormal amount of time in pants made for exercising while I’m not actually, well, exerting myself in any way. In order to regain my sense of self, I’m removing the option of wearing yoga pants for anything other than yoga or exercise.
As a stay-at-home mom, I have many freedoms. I have the flexibility to make my own schedule. I can mostly do whatever I want each day. Probably better said, I can do whatever my toddler will allow me to do each day. I won’t go into the pluses and minuses of having the privilege of spending each and every waking hour with my daughter, but I will tell you about the glory that is my daily wardrobe choices! It’s a blessing and a curse, I tell you! If you’re like me, and feeling a wee bit chubby, the yoga pant is an excellent option. It’s elasticized! It’s like Spanx without all the shimmying! It’s black so, therefore, slimming, right?! It comes in boot cut or capri length! You can wear it with a tank top or a t-shirt! You can wear a hoodie with it if it gets chilly! If you wear it with tennis shoes, you will appear to be a fitness goddess!
Now, you folks reading this from your place of employment, in your suits and, hopefully not hose (I pray to Jesus your employer does not make you wear pantyhose), are probably thinking, what’s this bitch complaining about, I would love to sit around in leisure-wear all day. No! No! It makes you lazy! It possesses your mind! You will put jeans on, go out for an hour or two and come home only to immediately return to your elastic glory!
Seriously, people, I’ve had to perform an intervention on myself. No more yoga pants! I cannot! I feel like a slob! Basically, I get dressed each day, with my workout in mind. On most days, this does not happen until Bread gets home which is after 6 pm. This means, I spend days on end wearing only pants with a stretchy waistband since I generally go from working out to the shower and my pajamas (sorry if I just ruined the notion you had of me lounging in lingerie). This is messing with my psyche. I need to wear regular clothes, put make up on and style my hair.
In order to solve my problem, I’ve declared tomorrow, Monday, September 13, 2010, the beginning of Operation War on Yoga Pants! I shan’t wear them! I have spent numerous hours reading magazines and scouring the internet for “cool” clothes. I am officially a wealth of fall fashion knowledge. I have purchased some clothing I believe will meet my needs and make me feel like a “normal” human being.
What is the first mission in this war, you ask? After consulting some mom friends, I’ve decided that my exercise time shall be first thing in the morning. I shall rise, with Bread, at six in the morning and have my daily workout routine completed by 7:30 am. At this time, Bird will be allowed to join me, if she’s awake. I shall feed her and get her situated for her morning episode of Sesame Street, at which time I will be able to shower, dress and put on some make up (gasp), if I haven’t already done so. God bless Jesus for having a plan! I am committing to do this each and every week day. I shall be feeling normal in no time! Next week I shall tackle nightly snacking! Baby steps, people!
As a stay-at-home mom, I have many freedoms. I have the flexibility to make my own schedule. I can mostly do whatever I want each day. Probably better said, I can do whatever my toddler will allow me to do each day. I won’t go into the pluses and minuses of having the privilege of spending each and every waking hour with my daughter, but I will tell you about the glory that is my daily wardrobe choices! It’s a blessing and a curse, I tell you! If you’re like me, and feeling a wee bit chubby, the yoga pant is an excellent option. It’s elasticized! It’s like Spanx without all the shimmying! It’s black so, therefore, slimming, right?! It comes in boot cut or capri length! You can wear it with a tank top or a t-shirt! You can wear a hoodie with it if it gets chilly! If you wear it with tennis shoes, you will appear to be a fitness goddess!
Now, you folks reading this from your place of employment, in your suits and, hopefully not hose (I pray to Jesus your employer does not make you wear pantyhose), are probably thinking, what’s this bitch complaining about, I would love to sit around in leisure-wear all day. No! No! It makes you lazy! It possesses your mind! You will put jeans on, go out for an hour or two and come home only to immediately return to your elastic glory!
Seriously, people, I’ve had to perform an intervention on myself. No more yoga pants! I cannot! I feel like a slob! Basically, I get dressed each day, with my workout in mind. On most days, this does not happen until Bread gets home which is after 6 pm. This means, I spend days on end wearing only pants with a stretchy waistband since I generally go from working out to the shower and my pajamas (sorry if I just ruined the notion you had of me lounging in lingerie). This is messing with my psyche. I need to wear regular clothes, put make up on and style my hair.
In order to solve my problem, I’ve declared tomorrow, Monday, September 13, 2010, the beginning of Operation War on Yoga Pants! I shan’t wear them! I have spent numerous hours reading magazines and scouring the internet for “cool” clothes. I am officially a wealth of fall fashion knowledge. I have purchased some clothing I believe will meet my needs and make me feel like a “normal” human being.
What is the first mission in this war, you ask? After consulting some mom friends, I’ve decided that my exercise time shall be first thing in the morning. I shall rise, with Bread, at six in the morning and have my daily workout routine completed by 7:30 am. At this time, Bird will be allowed to join me, if she’s awake. I shall feed her and get her situated for her morning episode of Sesame Street, at which time I will be able to shower, dress and put on some make up (gasp), if I haven’t already done so. God bless Jesus for having a plan! I am committing to do this each and every week day. I shall be feeling normal in no time! Next week I shall tackle nightly snacking! Baby steps, people!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Reign Me In
There are days, maybe even years, of my life where I feel like I am possessed by food. I like to eat. I also like to lounge. I've been avoiding the scale because I feel like I've really packed on the pounds over the winter. Today, I had to have a physical for my health insurance. I had to go TWELVE hours without eating. They weighed me. I almost fell off the scale. Not because I was weak and frail do to lack of nourishment but because it was bad. I'm not going to say how much I weigh, but trust me.
I'm not a size two. I will never be a size two. I don't even think I want to be a size two. I mean, those skinny bitches can't eat anything (no offense if you are, indeed, a skinny bitch). And, as I mentioned, I like to eat. I'm healthy. I swear. I do not eat fast food and chips all day. I eat fruit, vegetables, whole grains and lean meat. Then, I wash it all down with some junk food. I can't stop. I am an addict. I like those sugary carbs.
I also exercise. I ran the other day, for the first time this year. I've been doing step and lifting weights but I guess not as much as I should be. I guess it's time to reign it in. I'm making myself talk about this so that I can commit to watching what I'm shoveling in. I have to do this. I want my ten readers to hold me accountable. So, I'm sorry to bore you with this nonsense but, I think I'm going to have to start having a weekly post about the status of my eating, er, overeating...
My doctor said I should eat 1200-1500 calories a day. WTF? Is she on crack? That's like a piece of toast and some fruit. What will I eat the rest of the day? I'm doomed to starve to death. I'll probably be a size two by next week. I'll let you know how that works out.
I'm not a size two. I will never be a size two. I don't even think I want to be a size two. I mean, those skinny bitches can't eat anything (no offense if you are, indeed, a skinny bitch). And, as I mentioned, I like to eat. I'm healthy. I swear. I do not eat fast food and chips all day. I eat fruit, vegetables, whole grains and lean meat. Then, I wash it all down with some junk food. I can't stop. I am an addict. I like those sugary carbs.
I also exercise. I ran the other day, for the first time this year. I've been doing step and lifting weights but I guess not as much as I should be. I guess it's time to reign it in. I'm making myself talk about this so that I can commit to watching what I'm shoveling in. I have to do this. I want my ten readers to hold me accountable. So, I'm sorry to bore you with this nonsense but, I think I'm going to have to start having a weekly post about the status of my eating, er, overeating...
My doctor said I should eat 1200-1500 calories a day. WTF? Is she on crack? That's like a piece of toast and some fruit. What will I eat the rest of the day? I'm doomed to starve to death. I'll probably be a size two by next week. I'll let you know how that works out.
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