Thanksgiving

We’re carrying on over here. Bread gets a free turkey from work (some people get money, he’s appreciated in poultry). He requested he be allowed to cook the turkey in our home, for the family, on Thanksgiving. A little bit of history here-Bread loves meat. He loves to cook meat. And so, given the opportunity, he wants to either fire up the old BBQ or the stove to make a large bird, in this instance.  We’ve been gone a ton lately so I’m happy to stay home. And, I am even happier to be in charge of the desserts.

Bread has been diligently working on his meal plan for the past few days. I gave him a deadline for his list because, since I don’t have a, ahem, real job, peer say, I’m shopping ASAP. The nutters come out to shop during the holiday season. I will avoid the stores on Wednesday. I can’t deal with that shit; I will have my child with me.

I believe I’ve discussed before, my family, and their inability to stray from a very 1970’s type of meal. If you missed it, in summary, they essentially have the same meal each time we get together. They are not embracing the change. Having just lost the patriarch of the family, The Greatest Man Ever, I’m not arguing. You want Deviled Eggs? We will makes some. You desire a vast array of pickles and olives and want to place them in a special, divided bowl? Go on with yourself. Do it! Make a relish tray! It can sit untouched and I won’t say a word! God bless the pickles!

My mom was asking what she could make for our lovely Thanksgiving meal. I couldn’t think of anything so I gave her Cole slaw. Admittedly, I like the slaw. It’s good. What’s not to like about cabbage tossed in mayonnaise? That was last week. I was all settled in with the Cole slaw. We added that to our menu. Then, mom throws a wrench in the plan. She wants to bring this Jell-O salad she makes. It’s pretty tasty, I suppose, but I never understand the Jell-O thing. Shouldn’t it be a dessert? My family always serves it with the meal. It’s confusing to young children! You’re not supposed to get dessert until you eat your meal! Plus, just because it has oranges in it, does not make it healthy! I’m crazy enough! I cannot be sending these mixed signals to my child!

Anyway, my mom wants to make the Jell-O. She says, “I know you don’t like it, but Grandpa likes it.” This is Grandpa, as in, The Best Man Ever, as in, her deceased father. I don’t say a word other than okay. I mean, I was speechless. Is he coming? If yes, why are we only making special Jell-O? Wouldn’t he rather have a steak? Why didn’t anyone tell me he was coming! I’ll go buy more plates! I don’t have enough China! We were going to eat off the “fancy” paper plates! WTF! It’s my house! Why am I always the last to know! And, we wonder why I’m crazy. Hi, Grampy.