What to Do? What to Do?

I think it is funny because, over the past four years, people have asked me what it is I do all day. Um, take care of my child? Now, these same people are asking me what I am going to do now that Bird is in school all day. It is as if I was so busy before, by their standards, of course. I am puzzled. Previously, you believed I was doing nothing. Now, you are all concerned about what I’ll do with all my spare time. Huh.

I am kidding, if that last paragraph even makes sense to you. I barely understand what I just wrote there myself. It is a darn good thing I am not a perfectionist. Sometimes I go back and read posts and often find errors or wonder what the heck it was I was even talking about. I guess that is how it goes when you are your own editor. That is also how it goes when you cannot seem to focus on one thing for more than about four minutes at a time. I now believe multi-tasking is what is responsible for the demise of all things good and sane; there is such a thing as too much.

Anyway, the burning question for this happy day is: What is Jessie Domestic going to do? Well, for starters, she is going to stop referring to herself in third person. Okay, I am glad that’s over. It got weird there for a second.

The way I see it, I have several options. The most obvious answer would probably be to get a job. And, by job, I mean one that provides an actual paycheck you can take to the bank and receive dollars for. Nah. I tried that. It did not work. Besides, my former employer hires me to work from home a couple times a year. I am good with that. Before you get all judgmental on me, because I know you will, I have discussed this with my spouse. He likes our situation.  

You see, the thing is, I don’t want my kid to have to go to latchkey or something after school. I want to drop her off in the morning and pick her up in the afternoon. I want to make her a snack and learn all about her day. I want to help her with her homework, take her to her extracurricular activities and play dates, volunteer in her classroom and, perhaps, join the PTO. Maybe this makes me crazy. It might even make me old-fashioned but, both Bread and I feel, this is really, really important. And, honestly, I like to cook and clean and organize. I am good at these things. It is all 1950’s up in here and I love it. Honestly, if I had loved my career, which we all know I did not, I might be making a different choice right now. I need to be clear: I AM NOT AGAINST THE WORKING MOTHER. Thank you. Now I am going to make a damn meatloaf and fetch my man’s slippers.

So, it seems quite clear what I will be doing. Basically, I am doing most of the same things I was doing before except I am alone. Alone! Alone! I am sad. I miss her. Kindergarten is hard for mom too. They don’t tell you that. Or, maybe, they do. I probably wasn’t listening.

 But, obviously, I have more spare time than before. What will I do? I have decided to become “handy.” By this, I mean, I will fix stuff. Bread works a lot of hours. He is tired. I can finish up some of his projects! Maybe I will start some of my own! When I finish my coffee in the morning, I feel like I can take on the world. I mean, I really feel like I can take on the world! I am not kidding. I fall for this every day. I finish that last gulp of caffeinated goodness and, suddenly, my muscles are twitching and my brain is humming and I’m all, “Let’s get some shit done!” And then I realize I have a four-year-old and it’s probably not the best time to get out the blow torch or power tools especially considering I don’t actually know how to operate either a blow torch or an actual power tool. Man, an impending trip to the emergency room is such a buzz kill.

I will drink pots and pots of coffee every day. By the time I pick up Bird I will have blown out the entire side of our house in order to start the addition. I am going to rent a Bobcat so as I can finally level out our front yard. I want to power wash my patio, maybe my front porch and possibly our pets, as well.

 As you can see, I am well-intended. I have big plans for this school year. I swear it, I do. What have I actually accomplished over the past three weeks? I cleaned! I recovered from a hectic summer! I have been cooking. I blow dried my hair straight! I painted my nails. I spent a significant amount of time shopping for my fall wardrobe AND cleaned out my closet. My dogs have received ample love. Basically, I am enjoying a wee bit of freedom. I earned it. Being a mom is hard.