Circa 1998ish, my friend Jackie and I became loyal followers of a local band. We invested pretty much our entire summer into chasing these boys around, drinking with them and thinking we were the coolest. I mean, we were the coolest. We were about to be sophomores in college and we knew all the answers to life’s questions. These guys were lucky to have us as groupies, honored actually.
In our young, naive, minds these three boys (yes, definitely boys) were the most talented musicians we’d ever heard. Were they really? I have no idea. I’m sure they had some talent as they could play and sing at the same time which far outdoes any of my own musical abilities. But, given my musical expertise was limited to whatever they played on the radio, I don’t think I should be the one to say whether they could have been destined for great things.
The best part of all this was since we were underage we couldn’t go to the bars where they played. The only times we ever actually heard them play was when one of their parents was out of town and they played their backyard. Awesome. We pretended we knew how to smoke and that we knew every word to every song they ever wrote while wearing shorts entirely too small with tank tops, our best push-up bras and lots of eyeliner. Our moms would have been so proud. We were with the band!
Aside from my own short-lived stint as a flute player in middle school band, the summer of the band was as close as I ever got to being an actual rockstar. Secretly, and even as introverted as I am, I had a dream of becoming a member of a band as the lead singer. The year was 1999. You must know I have absolutely no vocal ability whatsoever. I would have been laughed off stage. I always envisioned myself as a Serena Ryder-type or Lisa Loeb-a cool chick with a guitar. For a while I wanted to be in a country band. I now despise country. Perhaps there is some underlying reason for this. I feared rejection by country music fans. Therefore, I rejected country music before it could reject me. Ah, yes, I am also a therapist. Er, rather, a complete and total nutter…
There is a local bar we go to with karaoke. I tried. I sucked. I went home and cried for weeks. Not really, I’m pretty accustomed to sucking at most things. It’s fine. What am I really good at? I’m still trying to find my calling. I think I pretty much have being a crazy SAHM in the bag, if that counts. Anyway, Bread is good. He can sing. He’s entertaining. He refuses to do it, though. I’m not sure why. He does a mean Johnny Cash. This was before it was cool to do a mean Johnny Cash. He’s such a trendsetter! He also does David Bowie. My man (faints).
So the years have gone by, I have come to terms with the facts. I will never be a rockstar. As difficult as it has been, I was able to carry on. That is, until I met Rock Band! I am in a band! We received the best Christmas gift ever! Beatles Rock Band! I’m the singer! I get to play tambourine sometimes too! It’s the best fucking thing ever! Now, my dream has come true! I get to sing off-key, in my basement, while wearing my best flannel pajamas and fearing my neighbors can hear that awful shit!
My brother plays the guitar (usually), while Bread rocks out (not with his, you-know-what-out either-we ain’t that kind of band) and I sing. I must say, as an adult, I don’t know many people who play video games. I have sort of a negative opinion of them. I was fearful we’d turn into a bunch of crazies and the next thing you know none of us would be able to function as normal members of society. I have visions of becoming the dude who hangs out in the basement gaming and constantly obsesses about the faux world he has created and can no longer function as a productive member of society without thinking about said world and needing to go conquer it…
I mean, because what we’re doing is so much cooler. It requires real skill! We have talent! We’re going places! People will be lining up at the door! It does not matter that for the first week we had it we were texting each other all day waiting to play. That is a minor detail. I have to go. I am shaking so badly I can barely type this. I need my fix. Lucy in the Sky with di-a-monds!
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