Regimented

Four score and some odd years ago, I probably had a dream. I’m thinking it had to do with being some sort of communications professional. Maybe that was when I wanted to be a veterinarian. There was a phase where nurse or teacher sounded good. I ended up with a degree in communications and an incredible urge to hide or, at least, start all over again and find something I enjoyed doing.

Enter motherhood. Enter the sudden urge to stay home, care for my child, cook, clean, do laundry, exercise and take care of myself. So I did that. I do that. Each and every day I cook (or heat something to feed the people who live here), clean and do laundry (I have a system so I rarely get behind). But, lately, I can’t seem to find or make time to exercise or take care of myself. Since just before Christmas I’ve been burnt out on exercise. I can’t find the motivation. I’m punishing myself in some way - I’m guilt-stricken because I won’t allow myself this daily energizer and stress relief. I can’t quite put my finger on why. Exercise is the world's best anti-depressant.

I needed a push. And, this is not because I want to achieve a smaller number on the scale. I need exercise to clear my mind and prepare for the day ahead. I need to do something, however small, for myself each day. This is what I need. I thrive best this way. So, I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of the winter blahs. Honestly, it’s way too early in the year for that. I’m disgusted with how I feel having not really broken much of a sweat the past month or so. I have a plan-because I always have a plan. Perhaps my plans don’t always work but I do try.

Enter Jessie’s Boot Camp. I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m taking drastic measures. I suppose I was bored with my current regime (or lack thereof). So, I went to Target. I purchased some new workout clothes. I bought my first kettlebell and a new Yoga mat. I am also the owner of some new DVDs by Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper; they are two of my most favorite fitness people. Target is where every person should go when in a fitness rut.  Great prices and awesome selection.  Target did not even pay me to say that.  They should!  Anyway, I am excited. I’m dedicating one hour a day to the treadmill, weights, a video or whatever it is I feel like doing. No pressure, just some sort of activity. I must stop this nonsense so I can return to feeling like a normal person. I recognize normal is very subjective especially since I am referring to my crazy self.

Part of the problem is my child is rising very early. She gets up at 6:30 these days! WTF? What do I do with her all day? How can I entertain her? Anyway, I’m not rising at 5 am. I cannot do this. I will be puffy by 10 am! I need my beauty sleep. I’m also not great at nighttime workouts since that is my time with Bread and, usually, the telly after he goes to bed. So, I’ve decided it is okay to exercise with her. She can either sit and watch or participate. I could be teaching her far worse habits. Ha! Could and do! So, this is my plan. I am committed. Such excitement. I can’t wait to be so sore I cannot walk! Today is day five and I'm stiff!  I love this feeling!  I missed it! It’s been so long! I’m a sick individual! And, there’s nothing better than watching my cute tot do squats in her Disney princess underwear! Those are her “workout” clothes. She did NOT learn this from me, I swear. I encourage her to wear clothes at all costs! She refuses! I never wear only my princess underwear when I exercise...