Think

One of the scariest things about parenting, we always say, is the fact you can devote your entire self to raising your kid and there is no guarantee they will be okay.  I stay home with my child, read to her, teach her things, try to fill the little sponge of a brain she has with knowledge, if you will, and hope and pray that all this will mean she will be a productive member of society.  I mean, I am crazy, I have issues but overall, when I go to sleep at night, I know I am a good person; I want the same for my kid.  I want her to be successful, kind, know she is loved and find things in life that make her happy.  Nobody hopes for their kid to be a drug dealer, a stripper or a criminal.  And, while I am not perfect, I want Bird to look up some day and know we did the best we could for her, always looking out for her interests.  Realistically, she will probably have hour-long conversations with friends discussing the ways in which her mother drives her nuts and is, indeed, CRAZY. 

One of the seriously neglected traits in humanity is the ability to possess common sense.  Daily, I see examples of this.  Bread and I are constantly telling Bird to have common sense.  We tell her to think about her actions.  Usually, we are telling her this because of some nonsensical act being performed by some common-sense-lacking person (stupid moron, really).  Something that automatically comes to mind is teenagers, smoking to be cool.  Dude, there is nothing cool about this.  It is the age of health and fitness.  Take that cancer stick out of your mouth.  You look like an idiot.  And pull your pants up while you’re at it!

I frequently see people rollerblading while holding a dog’s leash.  I apologize if you are, indeed, a person who does this.  What are you thinking?  What happens when the dog sees a squirrel and takes off?  I’ll tell you what happens: you take off like a rocket and fall on your face.  You only get one face.  People won’t want to befriend you if your countenance is all fucked up because you were HOLDING YOUR DOG’S LEASH WHEN HE TOOK OFF AFTER A SQUIRREL. Try explaining that at a job interview.  Even the best-behaved dog wants some HSA (Hot Squirrel Action). Your face is your best advertisement.  Nothing says I am a dumbass more than a frontage full of road rash.  Don’t be stupid. 

This is just our “thing.”  Can you teach common sense?  I hope so.  Think child!  Think!  Think about yourself!  Think about others!  Think about what is behind you!  Use your brain!  The biggest thing regarding stupid people is their ability to foresee how their actions impact others.  Because we are all so self-important, we only think of ourselves.  Profound.  Maybe someday I’ll write about jerks who smoke at gas stations.  I could write an entire post on this subject.  Blow yourself up, Asshole.  Leave the innocents out of this. 

This brings me to the other day when we were coming home from the library, on a FIVE-lane road. I am driving approximately 40 miles per hour.  I look over and see a man riding on a Rascal.  For those of you residing in a cave, that is essentially, a motorized wheelchair.  He is crossing the first two lanes of traffic going north.  I am heading south.  I think to myself, he is going to cross the first two lanes and then stop in the turn lane because there is no way he is going to cross in front of me.  False!  I am traveling, at a decent rate of speed, in a motor vehicle.  I am bigger (my car, but hell, probably my ass too).  I will win.  If I fail to stop you will be a smattering on the road.  And do you know what he did when I slammed on the brakes as well as my horn?  He waved.  Waved!  It was a happy thank you type of gesture.  I wasn’t stopping to let you go by!  You were not even in a crosswalk!  You deserved to get hit!  Survival of the Fittest!  I stopped my car because I did not want to deal with the hullabaloo of paperwork and statements that would have been involved in me running your ignorant ass over!  I wanted to get home; it was near dinnertime!  I needed a feeding!  And, so I stopped.  Bird wanted an explanation as to what was happening.  I told her, pointing at Wheelchair Jackass, “That man rode out in front of our car on his motor scooter.”  Her response was, “That was dumb.”  Even my four-year-old gets it.  You don’t.  Humanity fails once again.  But, the important lesson, here?  I think what we are doing might be working.  Yes!