Don't Ya Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?

We are driving in the car when, Bread turns to me and says, “By the way…” Of course my brain starts going a mile a minute. Is he going to tell me we’ve won the lottery? He got a raise at work? He has scheduled a date night for us? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. His question was actually this-“By the way, did you have gas last night while we were sleeping?”

Many things go through my head. I’m disappointed because he’s not telling me some grand news. I’m confused as to why he would ask this question. Where is this coming from? I’m wondering if I should be embarrassed because I was passing gas loudly in my sleep. That’s sexy! Way to go me! So I tell him no, not that I’m aware of and inquire as to why he was asking.

He proceeds to inform me he had a dream that he was at work, with one of his coworkers who was, well, pooping. He said it smelled repulsive. He then asked me if I ever recall smelling anything in a dream. Nope. Never.

That was pretty much the end of the conversation. But, thinking back, I don’t know if I should be proud or extremely embarrassed that my husband thinks it would be possible for me to create an odor (in my sleep nonetheless!) that would not only wake him, but cause him to dream about being in the same room with someone who was taking a shit. Impressive.  In fact, I'm pretty sure there's someone beating down the door right now trying to steal my heart.