Day Two

One thing that helps me rise and shine at the butt crack of dawn is the promise of a good television program to watch while I torture myself for an hour or so. Summertime programming is over. There is nothing good in my DVR. This is my excuse for deciding to sleep in this morning on the second day of Operation War on Yoga Pants. Well, that and the fact that I was in the midst of the best night’s sleep I’d had in about two weeks; I wanted that extra hour. A sick tot and a crappy mattress make for a crabby-ass Jessie Domestic.

I’ve instructed Bread not to leave the bedroom in the morning sans me. I could see the frightened look in his eyes when he realized I was not jumping out of bed as quickly as I did yesterday; he knew he had a potential disaster if he pressed me. He was recoiling in fearing of me shouting things at him along the lines of, “Why are you making me get up? You think I’m fat don’t you!” I’m not the happiest person in the morning, especially when it’s been nearly two weeks since my last decent night of rest and, if, somebody else is waking me up. I am impressed because I had the sense to tell him that I have a backup plan and, since today was a cardio only day, I could walk the dog and exercise at the same time. I saw the relief register on his face; he knows how I can be when I feel as though I’ve failed.

Surprisingly, I don’t feel like I’ve failed. I was up early yesterday, and according to my heart rate monitor, had burned over 800 calories by 7:30 am yesterday. I slept in today. I feel rested, although the ugly bags under my eyes tell another story. I am going walk with my posse (two dogs and a tot in the jogger) in a bit. Believe me, I needed that sleep. Tomorrow I plan to resume my 6 AM workout because I need to also lift weights and it’s just too hard to do all that during waking hours. Thursday will be an easy day of just Yoga. See? I’ve got this and I feel better all ready.

It’s amazing what a little bit of exercise can do for a person. I love to sweat. I love feeling like I’ve just accomplished something, like I’ve just done something really great for myself. It’s almost better than shopping. Almost! I said not quite! I have more energy during the day when I exercise and I tend to eat less. I sleep better. I could go on and on about the benefits of exercise but you probably know so I’ll spare you.

Bread always tells me that I’m so hard on myself. I’ve always thought he was wrong but I’m starting to see that, perhaps, he’s right. The old Jessie would see today as a failure. Instead, I’m going easy on myself. I knew Bird and I were staying at home this morning and that I could have both an extra hour of sleep and a workout outdoors (which is a thousand times better than in my living room). I didn’t fail; I did rearrange. It’s okay. I do want regular clothes and makeup, but, since I’m not really going anywhere today, and, luckily, my toddler doesn’t mind looking at me without my face on I’ll cope.

I am a very structured person. I function best when I have a plan for each day. A schedule, if you will. Being a SAHM, makes it hard as my number one priority is obviously my tot. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. I know this. But, there are things I can do to plan. It’s all a work in progress. I’m not making excuses, I’m only being flexible. I got some extra sleep and I’m about get my exercise and some quality playtime with my kid. Those are three things that many working moms would love to have. So, instead of beating myself up for what I did “wrong,” I’m realizing I’m human, being happy about what I have and moving on. Wow. How novel. And, tomorrow morning, I’ll hop right out of bed because tonight is Teen Mom, Parenthood and Life Unexpected! Glorious.