I’ve been in a breakfast rut lately. I am not a mom who can skip breakfast. Actually, I can’t skip any meal, for that matter. I also don’t like to miss snack time. Huh. Anyway, I used to eat oatmeal (the old fashioned kind) every day. I got sick of it, and since then, I don’t actually like it anymore. Every now and again I make it just to try; Bread eats it daily so he’s constantly telling me to try it with apples or blueberries. Whatever the combination is, I haven’t loved it in a couple years.
This morning, while Bird was quietly enjoying her usual, I decided I would try oatmeal again. I have to make it on the stove. I hate the microwave. I almost never cook or reheat anything in it. So, I put my milk in the pan and turned on the stove. I stood there stirring and stirring because I hate when the milk burns and sticks to the pan. Being the multi-tasker that I am, I began texting Bread at work.
8:41 am
Me to Bread: Top o’ the morning!
8:48 am
Me: You ever heard of Grace Potter and the Nocturnals?
8:55 am
Me: Decided to try oatmeal today. Been standing her stirring for about 15 minutes. Think I may shit my pants.
9:05 am
Bread to Me: Put fresh blueberries in there w/some brown sugar…yum.
9:08 am
Me: I’m still fucking waiting. I feel like the milk is playing a prank on me!
9:10 am
Me: This is worse than making pudding and pudding tastes good, at least.
9:15 am
Me: OMG. I had the wrong fucking burner on. What a fucking jackass. I kept checking for that to be the case. Looked several times.
9:21 am
Bread to Me: I’m totally NOT laughing right now.
9:23 am
Me: I bet. Liar.
I swear that I repeatedly checked to see if I had the correct burner on. I could feel the heat and my milk was bubbly. Obviously, I was deluded. It took me 35 minutes to figure out I had the wrong burner on. That’s how my Tuesday began. No worries. I’m completely okay with being a complete moron. It does slightly frighten me that while typing this up I was laughing hysterically. But, I always say, if you can’t laugh at yourself you shouldn’t laugh at others. My friends, I’ve got all the right in the world to laugh at you. You better believe that was the best fetching oatmeal I've had in years!
I've totally done that before. I've also run the coffee maker without putting the coffee in first and ended up with hot water, so don't feel bad.
ReplyDeleteHaha...that is hilarious. Sounds like "mommy brain" to me. I can laugh at you because I laugh at myself. Since becoming a mother I have made coffee forgetting to put in the filter like three times. That resulted in clogging up the coffee pot and having the damn thing that holds the grounds overflow and dump coffee everywhere. Of course I nerver realize what is going on until I have 12 cups of nasty grind-filled coffee all over my counter and running down to the floor.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother and that happens to me ALL the time. I don't know what my excuse is. Hahhaha! Glad to hear I'm not the only one.
ReplyDelete