If We Had a Gazillion Dollars

I was having a nice conversation with my friend, Jackie, this evening. Basically, her job gets in the way of her leisure time and my “job” forces me to do things in the evening when Bread is home. These things include: exercise, showering and meal plans. We began discussing what we’ll do WHEN we win the lottery.

I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but, my friends and I actually have a lottery pool. I’ve always maintained that I don’t need millions of dollars. I just want say, $100,000. Or, $40,000??? Hell, I will take $50 and this point…

Anyway, it’s fun to dream. With the help of Bread, Jackie and the Lottery Pool Friends, I’ve created a little mental list of things we would do/buy/need if we hit it for gazillions. Here is the current list in no particular order:

1. Book a trip somewhere tropical, with a swim up bar, friends and no kid (we’ll have plenty of time to spoil the shit out of her after we are, ahem, “rested”).
2. Boob job! Not bigger just perkier. Perhaps smaller.
3. Buy a ranch, with real live horses, cows and lots of acreage somewhere in Montana.
4. Pay someone to show us how to work a real, live ranch.
5. Realize that ranch work is extremely difficult and pay folks to work for us.
6. Ride horses and relax on ranch.
7. Take our tot to Disney so her dreams of meeting every fucking Disney Princess can be fulfilled.
8. Hire Jillian Michaels to get my ass in better shape.
9. Fire Jillian Michaels when I realize that she really means business.
10. Rehire Jillian Michaels when I realize she knows exactly what I need.
11. Give some money to charity. Probably an animal charity. I need to do penance for this.
12. Buy a huge ass house, here in the Mid-west, complete with an amazing kitchen, a huge master suite, a library, a theatre room, in-ground pool, tennis court and a bowling alley in the basement (not because I’m an avid bowler, but because it would be awesome to be able to say we have a bowling alley in the basement).
13. Purchase a larger family vehicle. I love Ranger Rovers!
14. Get my hair done as often as I actually need to in order to cover the grays. No more stretching!
15. Stop making meal plans based on what is on sale. We will eat whatever we feel like having! Steak? Chicken? Who cares? We’re loaded! Who cares if you want to buy the five-pack of avocados from Costco because they taste better and we’re not going to eat them all? We’re loaded!
16. Give money to an organization that feeds the hungry.
17. I think I’d like an RV. That would be fun. So long as I don’t have to drive it. Also, so long as I don’t have to empty the shitter when it’s full.
18. Detroit Tigers. Season Tickets. I’m a fan! I heart Johnny Damon!
19. Give money to family. Well, some family. You better be nice to me. You know who you are. Guilty conscience?
20. Get bored and start a blog about what it’s like being filthy rich.