Will You Be My Friend?

I am working on making friends in my area. I do have friends, however, I don’t have any that live closer than a 30 minute drive (I felt the need to clarify that I am not a total loser). I decided that playtime at the local library is a good place to do this.

Being the introvert (translation: social idiot) that I am, making friends is not easy for me. I get nervous. I worry about saying the wrong thing and try to make jokes that are always misunderstood. I mumble. I perspire. Inevitably, I make myself out to be a complete nutter.

After these encounters, or any social activity, I recollect the events and berate myself for being a moron; thus, an explanation for my strong desire to remain a recluse. But, as most moms will tell you, you do just about anything for your kids. For my lovely tot, I am trying to make some local friends. That’s not to say this isn’t a bit self-serving; I would love having a friend close by, upon whom, I could call at random hours of the day when things are, perhaps, not going well. We could enjoy a cocktail whilst our young ones play in the road. Someone to hang out with at the local parks would be fantastic. Er, someone with a kid who would run tireless with Bird while we moms relax on a bench. I would love somebody to do my daily walk with (really somebody to make me move my big ass faster).

So, today, I forced myself out of my shell. I did myself up. This means that I did not wear Yoga pants and I put on mascara. We headed to the library. There were moms galore! And one dad but he was WEIRD. WEIRD. There were lots of normal looking people there too. The last time I tried this, a cross- eyed lady tried to befriend me! WTF does that say about me? Am I a freak show? Do not answer that!

Anyway, I tried to make a friend. A lady spoke to me! I was excited. However, she wasn’t my usual type. She was a bit of an older mom. This is fine. Beggars cannot be choosers, we all know this. We started to talk, she asked about Bird and I asked about her two kids. Well, as it turns out, she has five kids! Five! How do you even get out of the house with that many kids? But, then it gets better. It turns out she has five kids, she’s a fellow stay-at-home mom, she home schools, AND they only have one car. WHAT! You mean you’re trapped inside with your kids most of the long, long winter? No way! I mean, I can appreciate walking here and there but what about when you just need to get out?  I suppose when you have five kids you don’t really need play dates. How do you get to Costco? This is the first thing that pops into my head! You cannot walk there. You cannot carry large cases of water, dog food and canned tomatoes. This would not work! She must shop there. How could you not shop there if you had five kids? I need to find her next week and ask! I need to know! I hope she knows about Costco! I could save her money! I will show her the way! And, if we’re going to be friends, I’ll bring the cocktails over to her house…Something tells me we probably won't make it that far!