There are many things in life that I’m just not that good at. I’m okay with most of those things. Although, I do wish I had learned to break dance and that I’d mastered the art of roasting Cornish game hens (Martha Stewart would so not be proud; this is not a “good thing”). Alas, we cannot all be perfect. I am trying my best.
What am I good at you ask? Funny, that’s just where this post was going. I am a stellar multi-tasker. This I have down. I have always been like this but motherhood has definitely amplified it. The real reason I excel in this field- I love leisure time! I love to be lazy! I love my shows! I love books and magazines! I love getting at least seven hours of sleep per night! The more I get done throughout the day, the less I have to do in the evening because come about 8 or 9 PM, I’m so hitting the couch.
I think of everything in terms of what else could I be doing right now? For instance, our washer and dryer are in the basement. I feed our dogs twice a day. Therefore, I take laundry with me. I may sort this laundry while Bird, is say, pooping (this is ALWAYS an ordeal). I never go down those stairs empty handed. The bonus to this is two-fold: I keep up on my laundry and I’m getting shit done. Also in the basement is our overstock. I make a mental list of things I need and bring them up when I return. My child eats forever. She does not eat a lot. She just has the attention span of a, well, two-year old so I use this time to my advantage. I empty the dishwasher, sort more laundry, clean up breakfast and/or check my email. I do pretty much anything I can where I can still see and hear her. My dogs need exercise. I need exercise. Bird needs a snack. Winning comb; I throw the kid in the jogger, get myself suited for a workout, throw a tasty snack in a container and off we go.
I have been up since 7:30, the perfect hour to rise I say. I have done three loads of laundry, put away said laundry, assembled the cushions on the chair that I just washed, fed Bird both breakfast and lunch (also ate too), wrote a blog post, cleaned the kitchen twice, played outside, took Bird for a walk around the block to discuss the seasonal blooms, played Princess, read four stories, walked our dogs for an hour (yes, workout) and tried to fix the spaghetti sauce I over-salted yesterday (awful mistake). I’m about to tuck Bird in for her afternoon snooze, do some weight lifting and shower. I may even apply some makeup! What a day this is turning out to be! My child was playing nicely by herself so I seized the opportunity. I feel a bit guilty. But, I only feel a bit guilty.
Have I really mastered this art or am I just a regular person with no skills boasting a useless ability? I say the former! I am proud of my domestic mastermind! There is nothing like Swiffering while making a dreaded phone call to get your pheromones running! Do you really want your pheromones to run in this matter? I’ve no clue but it sounded cool so I went with it…
So, moms out there in America and Canada and where ever you are that you happened to stumble upon my blog, get to multi-tasking! Maximize your leisure time! Make yourself happy so everyone around you will be happy! That’s the biggest complaint I hear from all my mom friends, that they don’t have enough time. What can YOU do to make more time? Think about it. Because we all are familiar with the phrase, “love makes the world go ‘round.” I beg to differ, moms do. We rock!
ATTENTION BREAD: This does not mean I have a ton of extra time. I am not, repeat, NOT lounging all day while you are at work! Please don’t fire me! Or take away my TV…Definitely do not take away the TV. That reminds me WTF, did people do before cable and internet?
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