Boy Crazy Bird

There is something going on in our house that I have been hesitant to talk about. Because, everybody knows that as soon as you mention something you have any sort of discomfort about, the shit hits the fan. Well, here goes- our two year-old is boy crazy. I'm not kidding.

She turned two in October. About this time she took a strong liking to all things Disney Princess. I did not push this on her. It just happened. The next thing I know, it was all princess all the time. It's almost as though nothing else exists.

Very slowly, she started to bring up Prince Charming. She was pointing him out in the movies, talking about him in the books and asking a lot of questions about him. I didn't think too much about it until recently.

Bread has mentioned, on more than one occasion, that Bird will never be able to date. I laugh at this. He says he was a boy once and he knows what boys think about girls and therefore there's no way he's ever letting his little girl go out. At least not until she's 30. I scoff. That's ridiculous.

Until last week. We were eating breakfast and out of absolutely nowhere, she turns to me, dead serious and says, "I want to go to the beach with Prince Charming, shut my eyes and take a rest." I choked. For one, it was hilarious, especially the part where she cinched her eyes closed. And for two, where in the hell did she come up with that? I didn't tell her that! I know Bread certainly didn't bring that up.

As if the proclamation of wanting to head to the beach with Charming wasn't enough to confirm my suspicions, the other night Bird met one of my brother's friends, Nick. Simply put, she was infatuated. She kept saying hi and at one point she gave him this really, cool, casual wave. The type of wave 16 year-old girls across the country are practicing in their mirrors. She also called him Rick and Dick. Way to throw him off the scent. WTF? She's playing games with these boys? I cannot condone this behavior.

Then, then, oh yes, there is more. Yesterday, we had a nice, twenty-something lad working on our bathroom. He initially came over the weekend to talk with Bread, then was back yesterday to actually do the work. He showed up while she was still in bed. Once she found out who was in our bathroom, she wouldn't stop. Where is Brandon? What is he doing? Where did he go? At one point, she even referred to him as Eric (Ariel from The Little Mermaid's love interest). Alas, I can deny it no more, my two year-old is boy crazy and she likes much, much older men. She has zero interest in boys her own age.

How did this happen? What should we do? Is this normal? I know that every parent wants their child to be advanced. I think this is taking it a step too far. I'm officially in agreement with Bread. She is not dating. EVER. I suppose if I was going to look on the bright side, which I'm so not, I should be glad that all she wants to do with Prince Charming is "shut her eyes and take a rest."This also confirms my theory that her tantrums are because she's premenstrual. It could be worse, right?