Does She Keep a Clean House?

Growing up, I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandmother. She is, put simply, and rather understated, a real character. She has opinions on most everything and she's definitely not afraid to let anyone know what they are. I think this trait in her has heightened in her old age. Needless to say her opinions are her opinions and if you spend more than about 20 minutes in her presence you're bound to get your share of them.

Coming from a small town, gossip was a way of life. Everyone knew your business or your mom so nothing went untold. From an early age, I can remember Grandma and her friends, sitting around having a couple drinks (yes, booze) and discussing the locals. At the time, this didn't really mean anything to me but one of Grandma's favorite questions was, "Does she keep a clean house?" This very question she would ask me when I was older in regards to my friend's moms.

Obviously, given her age, Grandma grew up when there were men's and women's roles. Men worked. Women cleaned. Having a dirty home was most definitely a reflection on the woman despite the fact that she may or may not also have a job outside of the home.

Somehow this question has ingrained itself into my brain. I often think of it. Not because I feel like I have to keep a clean house but because how could that be the sole measure of a person's being? What about her children? Did she have a career? What about a college education? Maybe she has a hobby or two? I can't recall her ever asking any of these questions. I know this was a different era but how harsh.

There are days when our house is a total and utter pigsty. I have a child, a husband who works about 55 hours a week and two dogs who shed as if they are about to go bald. I am only one person. I do about 95 percent of the cleaning in our house. Not because I'm the woman but because I'm the one who does not get up and go to work.

Grandma, I don't mean to disappoint but there's a lot of dust up in here. I mean, sometimes I let you down. I spend time with my daughter. And when she's asleep, or otherwise occupied, I like to read, watch TV and cook. I don't like to clean. I'm sorry you spent a lot of years worried about "keeping a clean house." I happen to enjoy life. I just often feel like she's breathing down my neck warning me about cleaning the house. She does still do that. She's been known to tell people how dirty their homes are; she once pointed out the dust on my mother's microwave. Who cares about the outside? The inside is where your food goes. As long as that's clean does it really matter? I suppose she would be quite distressed if I let her look underneath my bed...Oh well, I should know better than to take advice from the woman who used to tell my friends and I not to drink or we'd end up pregnant. Hey, Granny, it doesn't work like that. There are a few steps in between. JSYK.

Today, St. Patty's Day, is actually Grandma's birthday. I think we should pay tribute to her. We should all sit back, enjoy a couple green beers and bask in the glow of dust, dirt and grime.