If my child’s fits were a movie they would be an epic. At first it was tolerable but as time has passed they’ve gotten worse. I am at the end of my rope. I told Bread I believe she is premenstrual. This has been going on for about six months. Some days are worse than others.
Today has been especially bad. I was near a breakdown. I am still in my pajamas. It is past one o’clock in the afternoon. I have officially lost the desire to participate in this day. I’m sitting on the couch listening to HGTV, wearing the hood of my sweatshirt. I feel this will protect me from the elements of my child. I am over this. The sooner it ends; the better. It all began at 5 AM. Who gets up at that hour if they don’t have to?
People keep telling me, “she’s only two and this will pass.” When? Can you give me a time frame? If I had a time frame I could handle this better. Are you thinking tomorrow? Next week? Is it a year? God help me if it’s a year. I will not survive.
I know you all think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. It’s bad. If I ask her to do anything it’s a fit. Let’s change your diaper. Fit. Now it’s time to brush your teeth. Fit. How about some breakfast/lunch/dinner? Fit. Get your shoes so we can go have a play date. Fit. Our relationship has become volatile.
I have tried counting. I’ve tried timeout. I have tried making her stand in the corner. I have tried all out balls-to-the-wall screaming. I don’t know what to do. Today I did some internet research and requested some parenting books from the library. I am number 14 on the list for the book I chose! I could be dead by the time it’s my turn. Why don’t they have multiple copies of this book? Don’t they know there are desperate parents out there?
And desperate I am. WTF am I doing wrong? Why does this keep happening? I quit my job to be with her to make her life easier and this is how she repays me? I am terrified to leave my home. I have been embarrassed by public tantrums more times than I could count. The librarians give each other looks when they see me coming. I have to run through retail stores. I did some research looking for suggestions on how to handle these episodes. Most things said that I should leave. Obviously the person who wrote that has no clue. My cart is full. I just spent 45 minutes selecting all the things I need for the week. I should leave? As in I’d have to come back and try again. Screw that. Plus doesn’t she win that way? She obviously does not want to be there…
The reality is I know this will eventually pass. But it has become depressing and consuming; this is my life. I am afraid to leave the house. I feel like I’m a horrible parent with absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Perhaps I am not alone. I suppose I’m not since 13 other people wanted the same book as me. All I can say is, she better make a lot of money someday so I can live the life of luxury. I’m talking millions. For now I'm going to tiptoe around the house so as not to disrupt the demon's nap.
Ok, so you are not alone, by any means. I am starting to think mine has OCD or multiple personality disorder! I was brought to tears the other day by her tantrum, and believe it or not, she stopped screaming! She had been wailing,kicking, banging her head, and scratching and trying to bite me for 2 hours! Usually, I ignore her. But this time she was really hurting herself and I was trying to hold her...BIG MISTAKE! I have scratches and bruises everywhere! I don't really know how to deal with them either, but walking completely away and letting them scream helps. I don't even attempt to take her shopping anymore...I do my errands when the husband is home. She's been having fits since she was like 10 months old...and she's almost 3! Mine throws fits if I touch her chair, or her blankie, or I move something, or I put the PB on the bread and don't let her help. So I just learn to let her help out the next time. It's getting less and less often...if that helps any? I know, nothing helps ha
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